…It all started in the spring of 2011., to be precise on the 8th of March, when I finally decided to put all my ideas, my thoughts, on the paper, and publish it to the world.
Well, it was not really a paper, but a computer screen.
In those times I was still without a job, a place to stay, without money and what was the biggest problem, without the will to make something out of my miserable human life.
And I had only 29.
What will I do in my life, what is that that really interest me so much that I could spend my time doing something good, positive, constructive and valuable?
Due to the fact that I had a lot of free time, and not knowing what to do with myself, I started to read books, like I did when I was a little bit younger. Just to pass my time and out of complete boredom.
So, I thought to myself, what will I read, what books, what genres. I already read a lot of books from most genres that I liked to read before. Sci-Fi, comedy, detective novels, school literature, popular science etc.
Then, all of the sudden, I thought how about I try something else, something completely different. Once, when I was walking along the book shelves and looking for the right book to read, I stumbled upon some book that had to do something with spirituality. And no, it had nothing to do with New Age projects, How to help yourself manuals or some other mambo-jambo stuff that anybody can write, and which flooded the book market in recent years.
No, it were some old books, a real spiritual books concerning with a basics of spirituality, esoteric, parapsychology, exploration of the human soul etc. Theosophical Society of Madame Blavatsky, Jewish Kabbalah, Vedas, Tao Te Ching by Lao Tze, books of Jiddu Krishnamurti, Supernature by Lyall Watson, Initiation by Elisabeth Haich, Maitreya – the spiritual adventure etc…
Reading those books really made me happy and satisfied, because for the first time in my life I figured out what makes me satisfied and also gave me many good ideas what could I do in the years that are coming. Those books made me walk all across the city of Zagreb, walking, thinking about everything, the world, me, almost meditating during my walks. Then, I thought why wouldn’t I go step further and go hiking on the nearby mountain of Medvednica. We all know how hiking and walking through the woods on the hills makes people better, they feel better, and they think better, without the stress and noise of the town below it.
The spring finished, and the summer came, which meant I had more time walking through the mountain, reading books and thinking. In the meanwhile, I started my first blog on the internet, on that March 8th (International Women’s Day), where I wrote everything that was on my mind during this time of learning and experience of the world that surrounded me. In May, I tried to go on my first walking adventure through all south and west Croatia, but I was not prepared, so I was forced to abandon that plan, or better said, to postpone it to the next summer. Anyway, the more I read, the more I walked and think about everything, the more I spend time writing. And the more I wrote, the more things were on my mind.
Then, I thought to myself, I´m only reading things from the books, why not try some real experience? The books can say a lot about theory, but now I needed some practice. So, I started to meditate (or better say, I tried and failed). Then I left to some religious and spiritual institutions to find out more information that I was concerned with. The most interesting were the visits to Buddhist House and The International Society for Krishna Consciousness.
But still, I was not satisfied. That was not what I was expecting for. I wanted more. Then I had this idea, why wouldn’t we combine all the knowledge of our material world, all of our science and art to the world of spirituality?
Wouldn’t that be the mother of all the knowledge in this universe?
To combine the best of the best, to search and explore new things using both our materialistic tools and spiritual enlightenment. Wouldn’t that bring us closer to the Final Truth?
Isn’t that what we all want?
To know who we are, why are we here, and where are we going.
In those times, before my preparations for the big walking adventure, I realised that I could use all that I read in the books, scientific, artistic and spiritual and make the effort to seek for the Big Truth. During the big walking adventure in the summer 2012., I had a lot of time thinking about that, and probably that was the first time when I started to use the word Creativity, as a virtue of every human being, which has a goal to make every human being a small creator, just like the God.
I thought to myself, aren’t we all small gods, with our small destinies to fulfil. We are born to create, but why we use our knowledge, our intelligence, our creativity in the wrong and destructive way, when we could create the world that could be almost perfect, like the Utopia of Thomas More.
Anyway, the years gone by, I had made two more walking adventures, created an e-zine (or better said an e-book written in the form of an e-zine) called Libertas Nova, then tried to make other people happier and satisfied by creating small competitions for the artists, small walking trips through the city of Zagreb etc.
But all that in the end didn’t satisfy my wish to teach people how to be creative and how to use this creativity to make this world a better place. So, I thought to myself, I have to leave my homeland, ´cause here my work is finished. There is nothing I could do about it. I tried to do some things, and I have failed. Maybe I will find my luck and place for my future projects in the foreign lands.
And now I´m here, in the center of Bavaria, in Germany…