(Cover Image & Source: The Sagittarius @ Psychologically Astrology)
(continued from Story of the Young Wolf – The Retrospective of the Restless Wild Man)
…And then it came, the beginning of the summer of that desperate year of 2009., which looked like the beginning of the end of that young man’s life. For the first time he was living on the street and by the street, he slept for days in the parks, in the public buses and trams, always hiding from others, from the rest of the “normal” world, from the police.
Then, one day, his beloved aunt gave him a temporary place to live, first in the closed shed on the plastic mattress where he spent a week or so, and then she gave him permission to stay in the empty house of his grandmother, which was in those days resting at aunt’s house, recovering after a big surgery. That house was empty, old, half ruined and damped, that was the house were he lived as a baby, house that was built by his parents, house that was a case of the 20 year long lawsuit that almost ruined his young life.
He promised to his aunt that he will try to get a better life, to get out of the streets, get a new job. He failed. He got used to doing nothing, spending time at local libraries reading books, eating bad food from the local public kitchen, taking bottles and food from the garbage cans, only to earn some money to gamble, with which he was so obsessed.
The year pass by, nothing has changed for the better, his physical health deteriorated, his mental health was ruined. He thought he will never get out of that mess, he will always be a low life and a bum dependent of the society in which he lived.
In the summer of 2010., he had a big struggle with his aunt, which resulted with breaking of windows and doors of the house, and leaving that house of desperation once and for all.
He was again on the streets, sleeping wherever he could find a place to rest, on the dry grass or wooden bench in the park, in the trams and buses, on the beaches of one of the city’s lakes. But that were sleepless nights full of turmoil and nightmares. Constant coldness in the middle of the summer nights awoke him and made him restless and angry.
Then, when the summer was coming to an end, and the hot days were over, one of his friends that was living like him on the streets gave him advice to ask one other friend that was also a low life, but has a place to stay, to spend a winter at his place. So, he stayed that autumn and winter in the old ruined house with two other people, still living a life of the bum, sleeping in dirty clothes, eating at public kitchens and monasteries, washing himself once a week in a monastery, spending his youth in the worse possible way.
Until that unforgettable day, March the 8th 2011., when he started to write his own blog (he spent some of his low life time in the Faculty’s Internet classrooms, when he found a way that he can use their computers without the knowledge of the administrator). Before that, he used their computers mostly to play games and gamble. Now, the time has come to use it in some other and more serious way. He was so frustrated with the life he lived, that he just wanted something to change. He wanted something more from his young life. He thought if he would write about all the things that are happening in his life, he will feel much better. So he started to write his blog, he wrote his most memorable philosophical stories and spiritual sayings that came to his mind during his long walks on the city’s streets and in the wild nature under the mountain of Medvednica.
Next summer of 2011., he was again on the streets, after a fight with his friend were he stayed that winter and spring. Now he was a real homeless, sleeping during the day in the parks, and in the nights in a special shelter in a form of an old small warehouse.
All that hard life and constant desperation didn’t kept him from writing his blog, reading books and even spending some time visiting spiritual centres in a quest for the answers about the life he was leading.
Then came the summer of 2012. After spending early spring sleeping in caves and old deserted tunnels from the World War II, he finally did something that he was very proud of. Due to the fact that he couldn’t find a job, he decided that it would be much better to spend that summer in knowing his own land, that he knew almost nothing about. He had no money, he had no food, so he decided that the best way is to see all of that interesting things of his homeland by walking, with his backpack and a small sleeping bag that he bought the previous summer from the little money that he could save.
Three months had passed, three months of walking adventurism, three months of pleasures and pain on that thorny road, almost two thousands kilometers he walked by himself. But he survived and learned much more that he thought he would learn.
When he came back, again he desperately tried to find a new job, and instead of that he started to write his small digital magazine Libertas Nova, where he summoned all that that he was writing in his blog.
Year later, in the summer of 2013., after he found and left the new job, he walked the second part of his homeland, thus completing his wish to see all the beauties of his country.
The next three years were a big struggle, with the ongoing gambling problems, as well as for the keeping new jobs and a place to stay (in that period he changed three good jobs and a couple of residences).
In 2016., he went on his 4th walking journey, this time through his neighbour countries of Slovenia and Italy, this time not as a bum and a low life, but as a part of his working holiday.
Unfortunately, that didn’t last for to long. End of that year was marked with another quarrel with his mother, and once more he was back on the streets, this time to live a life of the worst bum. That whole winter and spring the next year he spent sleeping in a ruined old house at the bottom of the big mountain, sleeping in his thin sleeping bag, covered with so much dust and moisture, that when the spring came, he almost died of pneumonia, coughing for days in his cold and filthy residence, that almost became his final resting place.
After all of that, he was sick and tired of life in his town, and knowing that nothing will change there for the good, he finally gathered some courage and strength and left his country for good.
That August 2017. was one of the worst experiences that he had in his life, walking around for days, burned by hot summer sun, wet by cold night rain, blown by harsh wind, hungry and thirsty he walked for hundreds of kilometers through east Slovenia and Austria, spent some time in Graz trying to find a job there, then continued to walk over the small Alps and riding an old bike without the brakes through the cold and harsh Big Alps, all alone and helpless, to come to Salzburg, and eventually to Munich, in Bavaria, where he found the first job, after spending some time sleeping on the streets and eating in public kitchens, the life he knew very well back in his own country.
Almost two years he spent in Bavaria, trying to find the life that he wanted back in his own country. In those two years living in Germany he gone through all the bad things that he never thought he will have to go, he changed two jobs, four addresses where he lived, his new smartphone was stolen, they double-crossed him when he searched for a new apartment in Munich, when he lost almost whole of his salary (that was already to low), he had constant struggle and problems with the government institutions (health care issued a non existing penalty that he had to pay, finance office made the same mistake twice by assigning him the wrong tax class, which costed him a couple of hundreds of euros, the office for registration made him to pay the church tax that he didn’t wanted…).
With all the other problems like bad food and drink, high rent prices, bad people that behave like stupid machines, low salaries for the foreigners and the jobs where you can work, but only through the agencies that pay you much less then the companies where you work. All of that modern slavery and Nazi capitalism made our hero to end his life in this corrupted no mans land, leave a low paid job he never liked, people he hated the most, and again, like so many times before, leave everything in a quest to find that small place that he could really call his new home…