…It’s been almost two months since I said goodbye to my last job in Bavaria, Germany, days that I spent in the biggest turmoil of my life. I hated my job and the life out there, in the center of the land of the slaves. I said to myself, I will tolerate this no more. If I wanted to be a slave, I could just stayed in my own country Croatia.
Then, when I was resting in my last apartment in Unterschleißheim, I asked myself a million questions, what to do know, where to go. I mean, I’m 38 years old and the possibilities and chances for me to finally live the life that I want are limited. At the beginning of this month, on the 2nd July, I went on my walking adventure, but after only 5 hours and 17 km, I have had enough. My rucksack was just to heavy, my shoes very bad, my shoulders and neck were in bad shape, and I got a big blister on my right leg. I had to abandon the trip and go back. Then, after another week, I decided to go to this Sweden, as I wanted to go a long time ago (it was one of my biggest dreams since my student days), so I bought a plane ticket from Munich via Brussels to Stockholm. This week, at Wednesday, I landed in Stockholm, at Bromma Airport. This was the first time I was flying in the airplane, so it was a very strange experience.
The first two-three days I was overwhelmed with everything, the city and it’s islands, new culture, new language, different people, strange weather, different public transportation system etc. But I was pretty unsatisfied with the fact that most toilettes are not free, and even more than that, there is no free water in the parks and similar places in the city.
But yesterday evening, while walking through some smaller islands, I came to the final conclusion that I don’t belong here, like I don’t belong anywhere else (I’m one of those men that are living like the lonely wolves, not belonging anywhere).
The thing is that I want my life to be fulfilled, to make my life a big adventure, I want to explore new places, learn new things. And I want to meet new people. Also, I would be the most happy man in the world if I could finally find the girl of my dreams, girl that is just like me, adventurous, fun loving, intelligent, seeking for new knowledge and a big nature lover. But, unfortunatelly, I can not find that girl. If she is somewhere out there, she must be hiding from me, and she don’t want to be found.
Anyway, after long inner conversation, I said to myself that tommorow I will leave Stockholm for good (for me, this city is no better than Munich), again take my rucksack and just walk in the southern direction, to central and western Europe. And to avoid the same problems with rucksack and shoes while walking, I will remove more things from the rucksack ( most things I don’t really need), as well as my shoes. If I want to be the real spiritual adventurer and seeker for spiritual enlightenment, I have to strip myself from everything. I will remove my shoes and walk barefooted. This goes for most of the money that I still have. Now I know that I don’t need that as much as I thought before. So most of the money I will donate along my way to the ones that will need it the most (yesterday, I already gave 25 Euros to one poor homeless lady that was sleeping by the shore of one small island; she was very intelligent and grateful for my small donation).
I am obviously a type of person that hates big cities, and adore wild nature. So, if I have to die on this adventure, it is better to be somewhere in the wild. As far as for visiting Stockholm and Sweden, I saw it, I was not satisfied, and now I will go. I don’t plan to stay on some particular place. I’m not even sure where will I go from here, even do I will try to go southwards, to Denmark and north Germany, then try to go west to Portugal. Now, I know that I am no longer a typical walking adventurer, but a spiritual one.
Wish me best!
I hope you will have a chance to read my next post, if I will still be alive…